// D:ancing With.. {*Myself}

hop over..

2007-06-24T22:20:00.000+08:00

84 dollars

2007-06-09T00:33:00.000+08:00

that's how much i spent on service charge.
yup sadly tho, all data are lost. crap.
am sad/angry beyond words. angry at myself for not having backups. the hundreds of digipics, mp3s, .psd layout files, powerpoints for my lessons.... i've not developed any of the digipics take thruout the 3 yrs can.
now they are ALLLLLL friggin GONE.

can i just smack myself silly.... ARGHHHHHH!!
(well, least i've gotten a brand new harddisk. um yah. STILL!!)

huuuarggggh =/

2007-05-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

..soo can't wait for the june holidayss!!! One more week to go before it's official... eeeeeeyaiy!

i can't stand the mess in my room and on my table no moree.. books and papers and pens and all everywhere... wahseh, so fustrating can?

the dad says my room smells that of a bookshop.. well, that's a first!! I'm seriously wondering where did all these come from. but nonetheless... e-yesness lah.. i love spring cleaniiiing, whoooopie.. gets me high! Heheee..just love throwing things away. that's why my mum is always around when i'm cleaning. She'll go.. "Eh... asal buang tu.. kan lagi boleh pakai..! Sini, bagi mak!".. that kind of thing.

I mean, who won't throw old pencil holders that kind of stuff..? OK takpe, not all will agree i know... and yes, cleaning up my workstation as well. Hmmmmm .. that i can foresee more throwing of papers and such. Heeeee.. shoik. and cleaning the classroom cupboard.. and games corner *ini tak best langsung k.. taik cicak all.. ~wwaaaa* but it's ok, i love cleaning *right*!

getting ready for the attack of rashes and sneezes soon.
ok, world peace =) i mean, really.

Al Fatihah - Innalillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Rojiun

2007-05-15T21:45:00.000+08:00

It was about 11am today as I reached work..
Minutes when I put down my bag, my mum called.. crying.
"Nur, zam meninggal."

It left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.
Images of him carrying my late brother's body
down the grave last year kept playing in my head.
Especially the image of him kissing my late brother's forehead.
He was the closest person to my late brother that it hit a raw nerve.

I'm eternally grateful to him for being a great friend and standing by
the late brother through the rough, trying times.
A gem of a friend.

I'm just left speechless.

Well, that's life isn't it? Unpredictable.
And I'm worrying myself silly about work?
Somebody slap me.
There's bigger things than work.
Alhamdullilah, a good timely reminder.

Alfatihah.
Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat Ilahi.

. a reminder to self .

2007-05-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

Man’s way leads to a hopeless end —
Allah’s way leads to an endless hope.

in times of stress, i think of..:-

2007-05-07T21:32:00.000+08:00

ikan bakar
honey bbq-ed chicken wings
satay
banana split
tom yam soup
chilli crab
prawn dippers *daym the allergies..*
potato-fruit salad
slurpeee
fruit cocktail
vanilla bread pudding *btw e one at carousel is awesomeness*
strawberry mousse
fruit tarts
lasagne

wahseh, berangan jauhla sey.
so long as it doesnt go to the contents of my bag.

saturday come quick..!!
In need of some recharge.... =/

how funny

2007-05-04T23:54:00.000+08:00

Only a brilliant person could twist the veins of her finger while marking. ever heard of that or not? one living example is yours truly. just today, my right ring finger got twisted. Eh, sakit lah seh... !! Its now purplish-blue and swollen. Showed it to the dad after work and said he'll do the corrective whatevers tmrw. Wah seh, seram can. don't mess with daddy's steely fingers. both the legs have been his victim since young. mintak ampun byk2.

oh, the day is not so bad afterall. was pleasantly surprised by 2 packages.. my online bargains!! the cardigan and top. ~weeeeeeeeee.. finally arrived! fits just nice. any tighter and they'll look like stokings.....heeee.

cant wait for the outing with the washingtons. who's planning btw? can someone choose a nice restaurant with comfy ambience pls... tak nak outdoors k? make it airconditioned with good yummness food. thanks u kind soul... AWIN issit? or LEY? Heeee.. meh sepak aku sikit?

Come lai ley, what do u want for ur bday. Jgn melampau mintak Titus and all eh. I justtt know that'll blurt out from you... Oookayla senang macam gini, anything OVA's like dat like dat hor? just remmmmmind me to purchase it tmrw. hahah.. tak janji.. but i'll try my darndest aiy?

Anway.. good weekend y'all... pray for my little finger to be AOK by monday :) love love!

Toilets in Bangkok * Hilarious Visuals..*

2007-05-02T21:31:00.000+08:00

hrmpf

2007-04-26T00:48:00.000+08:00

ya Allah..., the mountains of unmarked worksheets pun.
I can just puke red ink now.
how can I forget the general remarks....

Can't wait for SA1 to be over.
Stresssssssla sey.

..enjoy these!

2007-04-15T00:28:00.000+08:00

Phonecalls..

2007-04-10T21:45:00.000+08:00

It's so sad. Pityful for them kids. Ones who are very weak in english. Did some phonecalls to the parents just a few minutes ago.. urgh, and the sadness in their voice is so distinct. I'm sure no parents like to hear bad news coming from a teacher's mouth. These kids are not surrounded by books. I'm not sure if they even have enough storybooks, seeing that they come from a low income family. Most of the parents spoken to are not able to converse and understand english well, which is a big disadvantage for home support. These kids are really adorable.. they don't deserve this to be in this state.

What makes me madder, is when I talked to some of their tuition teachers. One does not even speak proper english. She speaks broooken english, how to teach phonics to a child who doesn't even know how to read? It is so sad to see a low income family spending their cents and dollars on a tutor who is not well equipped with english basics to these children at risk. This tutor has been with the family for 2 years.. I think it is time for a c.h.a.n.g.e. It is definitely not working out. Anyone knows of a good, yet reasonably priced phonics center? Do recommend it to me yah.. Many thanks in advance.

The mind is in knots thinking about them. Headache.
Okay, time for endless marking and lesson planning.

deep thoughts

2007-04-09T00:05:00.000+08:00

It's late nights like this that makes the mind wonder. Flashbacks creeps in and makes me worry about the future.

For one, my parents are not getting younger by day.. and being the eldest now, have I done enough to be able to support them? It has always been my aim to have my dad to stop working at the age of 55 or 60. He's been working too hard for all of us. And I still remember at my late brother's deathbed, I promised to put in my best effort to take real good care of the family. I know.. that is what is holding him back. Family has always been his first priority above all matters. True enough, after that promise, his breathing starts to be more relaxed until he passed on.

People, well maybe friends might wonder. Why am I so serious half the time? Why shouldn't I? Every decision I take affects my life and family. Everything has to be thought upon carefully. But yeap, I'd learn to take a step back and appreciate the surrounding people. It is so easy to scowl at another's happiness and joy.. But, really, we'll feel a sense of lightness if we learn to share another's happiness.

However, I feel that trials in one's life should be celebrated as well. Celebrate that one has gone through it and learn life's lessons, celebrate the fact that Allah cares enough to make one a stronger, and more patient person at the end of the day.. reminding us all that He is always there, irregardless in times of ease or pain. Just take time to remember Allah and always return to Him. Every insan is created weak and forgetful, its natural to seek for forgiveness and return to the right path.

Life is a battle. A battle against ourselves, to better ourselves each day. We don't live to create impressions. We live to benefit the life of others through speech and actions. On the ride home just now, the other was sharing about the meaning of surah al-Humazah. Do read up on the tafsir peeps. A reminder for each and everyone of us.

...

am at a crossroad right now. i hope i'm making the right decision. =/

no, Saturday didn't see me cleaning my room

2007-04-08T12:25:00.000+08:00

Erps.
But it did see me watching an awesome movie with ju..."Freedom Writers". That girl was practically weeping in her seat. What a sight..*lol*. And the unpredictable smack she gave me in one scene.. wahseh. It's something like Dangerous Minds, but more... real. Yuh huh..

After our maghrib prayers, we headed to lucky plaza for our dinner. It was such a coincidence really. Earlier in the day, we were both rattling on how expensive it is perfumes nowadays are whennnn a sort of a sale caught our sight. Her Bvlgari Omnia and My DKNY Delicious *yes the biggg bottle*. We were like "Okay, budget or not.. that is definitely a steal!!* Hence we got them at 75 bucks for a big bottle, and 35 for the medium. Ok what right.. and I managed to get him a men's DKNY Delicious too. Hope he likes it..teehee. Yippie.. best or what kan. Patience pays.. muahaha.

Went to woodlands mc cafe while waiting for her uncle to fetch us. And something freaaky happened at the toilet. I refuse to telll lah, but it did got us grappling out of it. She thought I didn't notice.. but of cuz i did!!! Sheesh.. I'm not that blind without my specs tau ok. After the ghost story session with her and zainah just the other day, this one really hits it home! Ngahh =/

Okay.. let's all think about fluffy bunnies, rainbows and unicorns now. Hmmm.....

And another

2007-04-07T10:52:00.000+08:00

So, it has been one heck of a week yet again;
but nonetheless i survived *phew* and even got to meet
up with two of my loves, lis and ju.

Last Saturday saw me and the parents going to ikea to get some boxes.. and finalllly, i managed to have them 4 d.i.y plastic ones for my cupboard. Wah seh, i wrestled so hard with the first box. But after seeing the tricks to the hinges, it went alright with the other 3. Assembled my way through 1am and smiled satisfiedly to sleep afterwhich. So most likely I'll spend my Saturday cleaning up the room.

Say yaiyness to an organised mess! LOL

Something I realised, individuals who are artistically inclined are usually messy, don't you agree with me? I've chitchatted with my NIE lecturers and they do agree,
as they are slobs themselves, HAH!(well, maybe excluding the few like zara and ayu) btw, i have a freaky fren by the name of zara who cleans her cupboards and mops the floor almost daily. SAPER MOP LANTAI HARI HARI NI?!!

I should hire her really. But no, i can imagine her slapping me silly hahaha..

dang, i miss NIE. the place where i enjoy learning the most.. bestlah!

My life is.. brilliant? :)

2007-04-01T03:56:00.000+08:00

Been quite a while, yea?
So you might ask... hows life?

Quite alright now, but could've been better if not for some bad choices here and there. Am missing my girls so much with what is left of my social life. With work occupying most of my time (not that i don't love what i'm doing. I do really, work has been enjoyable as of late.) There's so many things that i wanna do at this point of time but $$ has been quite a problem. Trying to complete my driving license is one. Wanting to continue my education is another. Never mind, slowly.. I just pray that the thirst won't fade.

The kids are bringing in much joy to my life right now, with the little tornado scaring the daylights out of me most of the time. That, i will not go in depth. Brings in the shivers just thinking about it. But he's so adorable nonetheless.. oh dear, i think im in love with that lil twerp. I tell you, it's usually the special ones that touches your heart. Uh huh.. with his impish smile and hyena laughter, with his sticky hands and sweaty t-shirt. I just feel like giving him a bear hug even when he's driving me up the wall. Deft.ly i'm going to cry buckets if he were to leave this coming june.. i'm never good with goodbyes :/

At the moment, the workplace is playing the "Angel and Mortal" game. How wonderful!... really helps in bringing the stress level down. With quirky emails flying around, such a relief from the normal info-loaded ones. Phewwwie.

.. and I'm still waiting for my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Oiy girls, who wants to watch it with meeeeeee???? I wanna watch my mean machines and go all silly like that. Mazzzz, jooom! Then we can go shopping as how we planned..

Okay, since its already 4:15am and my eyes arent getting any bigger.. I'll take my leave now and update at the near future. Da!

midweek

2007-03-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

Amidst the coming mundane working days...
Am so psych to meet the fellow bimb *sayang lis* for dinner on Weds.

Happy Belated 23rd birthday to youuuuuuu yar :)

Been quite long since I step onto JP.. far too long.

Anyway.. Seee yarrrr on Weds minah!!

Soooo long, tc all!

Hana Kimi - My Personal Angel Enjoy!

2007-02-19T11:19:00.000+08:00

that 10th feb of a saturday

2007-02-11T22:00:00.000+08:00

the event was just super sweet....
may you have your much wanted marriage filled with sakinah and rahmah!

p/s: ayu and mar.. don't shy2 pass me the peeks okay. i wannt! :)

Do Add Us to Your Links

2006-12-21T04:06:00.000+08:00

with love,

2006-12-17T23:17:00.000+08:00

Do give us your support <3

Allah Knows Best

2006-12-10T21:33:00.000+08:00

ALLAH knows what is best for us
So why should we complain
We always want the sunshine
But He knows there must be rain.
We always want laughter
and the merriment of cheer
but our heart will lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.

ALLAH tests us often
with suffering and sorrow
He tests us not to punish us
but to help us meet tomorrow.
For growing trees are strenghtened
if they can withstand the storm
and the sharpness of the chisel
gave the marble its grace and form.

ALLAH tests us often
and for every pain
He gives us
provided we are patient
Is followed by rich gain
So whenever we feel that
everything is going wrong
It is just ALLAH'S way to make our spirit strong.

- Author Unknown

=)

2006-12-09T19:28:00.000+08:00

So, although life hasn't been all like a bed of roses.. it's not about the roses ain't it? If one's life is all dandy, what's the value in living? Hm, i don't think life is about just happiness alone. Rather, it's about going through the tides that comes along with it. Add a little salt and some pain along the way, we learn a thing or two about surviving and embracing what comes may.

Looking back at past experiences, some events are definitely hard to swallow. But in retrospect, I soon begin to realise that everything has its time and place. Qada' and qadar. The magnificence of our Creator in planning our lives from point zero, to present and up to the end of our lifespan on Earth.. How our actions unfold endless tomorrows. Trusting and putting our faith in Allah in all that we do.

January is coming soon. And I must say, this has been the most trying year in my life. But.. after each stormy day, there's bound to be a rainbow somewhere right? I believe so. Sure, picking up the pieces isn't easy. However, I'm thankful for the experiences that I've gained and the hikmahs behind it.

... Before the semester begins, I sure need a boost of faith and drive to give my all in the coming months. And I know just who... ~Yes girl, aza aza fighting!! V(",)

"And When I Am Ill, It Is He Who Cures Me" Surah Al-Shu'ara-Ayah 80.

2006-12-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

Here are some pieces of advice that have been passed down to us from the wise regarding different issues.

Abqaraat said: "Stay healthy longer by working hard, by avoiding laziness, by abjuring drinking, and by refraining from eating too much."

Some of the wise said: "Whoever wants health should eat properly and well. He should drink water moderately. Lying down after eating lunch and walking after dinner are recommended. And one should be wary about taking a shower right after filling oneself with food."

Al-Haarith said: "Whoever wants to stay - and there is no true stay (meaning life is transient and will come to an end) - should eat lunch and dinner early."

Four things weaken the body:
talking too much
sleeping too much
eating too much
engaging in sexual intercourse too frequently

Talking too much weakens the strength and sharpness of the mind and makes one age faster. Sleeping too much blinds the heart, making one lazy and callous. Having intercourse too often weakens one's strength and has harmful effects upon the body in general.

Four things destroy the body:
anxiety
grief
hunger
sleeplessness

Four things bring serenity to the heart:
to look at greenery
to look at flowing water
to see a loved one
to gaze at fruits upon the trees

Four things weaken one's eyesight:
walking barefoot
having a frown on one's face early in the morning and before going to sleep
crying frequently
reading words in small print

Four things strengthen the body:
wearing soft clothing
taking a shower using water of a moderate temperature
eating sweet and rich foods
smelling pleasant odours

Four things take the mirth and freshness out of one's face:
lying
insolence
asking too many questions imprudently
perpetrating evil deeds frequently

Four things bring light and mirth to one's face:
a sense of honour
fulfilling one's commitments
generosity
piety

Four things make others abhor and loathe you:
arrogance
jealousy
lying
spreading false rumours about others

Four things make sustenance come to you freely:
standing up at night to pray
making repentance late in the night
giving charity habitually
remembering Allah in the first and last part of the day

Four things weaken one's mind and understanding:
constantly eating sour foods and fruit
sleeping on one's back
worrying
feeling anxious

Four things help one to improve one's understanding:
having a light heart
not overfilling oneself with food and drink
adding sweet and rich foods in moderation to one's diet
getting rid of extra body fat

Details Taken From - "Don't Be Sad" by Shaykh Aaidh Al-Qarni.

Act like

2006-11-30T17:06:00.000+08:00

Since the pocket's badly burnt and payday's in another app. 2 weeks, I need to keep myself b.u.s.y. I really don't know what to do with my free time apart from korean dramas, reading..

So, on a short term plan, here's what the woman's gotta do to keep herself sane. Funny isn't it, not knowing what to do with time in hand. But oh well, here's the list for the next 7 days.

1. ~~Intensive wardrobe cleaning.~~ *done!*
2. Super intensive room cleaning.
3. Super super intensive pc clean up *photos are everywhere can* *done!*
4. ~~Reorganise digipics for developing.~~ *done!*
5. ~~Do some financial planning.~~ *done!*
6. ~~Finish reading the paperback, "Getting Things Done".~~ *done!*

Eh, mujarab ok ni buku.. i strongly recommend. Specially for those with lotsa stuff to deal with at work and at home. baaagus.

And to pamper myself after the above mentioned hard work.. continuation with the korean series " Which star are you from?" Yehh!

Aza aza fighting!! (,")V

Insecurities :/

2006-11-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

Since I've been able to crawl, the dad has always been flying around meeting clients. I should be used to it by now. But, I can't seem to.. I don't know why. I would never miss seeing him off, making sure that the cab he took, would disappear from my sight before returning to what I was doing. I have this constant fear of him taking that flight and being in a foreign country all on his own. I won't feel at rest until he reaches home safely. I would sleep at the hall in the middle of the night until I am awaken by the sound of his luggage at the doorway. That is how scared I am for him. Silly I know.

But today however was different. He left for Abu Dhabi before I arrived home from DND. And I feel like total crap. I hope nothing happens in the span of him being away. I didn't manage to catch a last glimpse of him. Since the demise of my elder brother, I made sure that at every meeting before I part with someone, I'll have a last image of that person captured in my mind. Like for now, I can still remember how Aishah looks like as my cab drove off last week. That kind of thing.

I pray hard that dad would be safe wherever he will be for the next 2 weeks. My heart is pounding like mad. I didn't manage to see him off today and I know I will not be at ease til I see him safe and sound at home again. But I'm thankful that I've managed to give him a call before he boarded the plane. Aargh, but I really tried my best to reach home fast though. Man, I feel uber sad. Must be the hormones.

Breathes in

2006-11-25T13:57:00.000+08:00

..Something that I often forget amidst all the work. But, that's all about to end soon.I'm officially on holiday come Monday!! Left with one item on the agenda before all the fun begins hehe. Waaahseh, bestnya bestnya bestnya!!

So, holidays, what am I to do?
Basically well:

1) Come up with a framework for my CCA "Digital Media Art".
2) Prepare classroom materials for the class of 2007.
3) Read, read.. read!!
4) Major room spring cleaning.
5) Sign up for some classes, InsyaAllah
6) Unwind
7) Go for a massage
8) Work on a new project *winks at lis* - jgn bubble aku, eh lis!

Not forgetting..
For the singles who are getting hitched by year end..namely: Ahyew, Zahara and Suhaila.. I is so excited for you alls! Congrats a bundle from the bottom of my heart!! Like finally huh?

Hm, alright another hour before I need to report for work. Wahseh, my Saturday burnt like that. Tapi takpe, all in the name of dedication kan. (and BONUS) Hahaa..

Okaylah bye!! :)

Jangan Pernah Berubah

2006-11-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

Been quite some time since i hold a paintbrush..
.............
.......

Just gonna let the colours do the 'blogging' tonight

Rest well lovelies :)

..and the countdown begins! :)

2006-11-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

hehe

.... relax aje?

2006-10-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

PART 1

You know, it can be quite shocking to face your biggest nightmare early in the morning. But phew, luckily it din't happen to me. Says who bathing for half an hour ain't benefitting right? Anyway, back to the blog title..

For the second time in my life, A CAT STROLLED INTO MY HOUSE. The house that is full of catOphobia people (namely all the siblings, and perhaps my mum). At 6plus am today when the door was wide open, the famous grey cat found itself in a totally foreign place, my home sweet home. ~Terperanjat girlgirl(in this case, my mum *lol*) It crawled to as far as my balcony, mind you.. across the hall it went. The dad finally used a broom to direct it back out where it belongs. The mother went into hiding if i'm not mistaken. (like i said, i was bathing peacefully then)

And its favourite hang out place for now is my staircase landing and right outside my door. Mcm tau gituk kan aku *tak* takut dengan dia. wahliew~. So for the past week, it's been a game of hide and seek with the furball. 2 days ago, the brudder and i took the lift down as furball was sitting at the staircase, fiddling with its catch *a tree lizard* gross ok. So, being the chicken shit we are, we took the lift down and RAN to the carpark by the back way. Kelakar okay, tak bedek *sila imagine asykal running away from a cat boleh tak*. I think if the big brother is still alive, he would have ran with us as well! He was the biggest scarredy cat when it comes to furballs. I can still remember him sitting cross legged at a coffee shop while we were having dinner at west coat a few years back. Takut kucing lor, apa lagi. hahaa.

PART 2

Imagine having given last minute datelines all the time and having to rise to the occasion at all times. Sickening hor? Being the rebel that I am, i just refuse to rise. Altho i know it might come across as being aloof and lazy, the idea of meeting the expectations of another is just a turn off *for me, at least*. I don't know if its ego. But, since young, i do things according to the expectations i set for myself and not how others want me to perform. Selfish? I don't know? Hm. Another 3 weeks to holidays.. tak sabarrrrrnya!! :)

somewhere over the rainbow

2006-10-22T03:44:00.000+08:00

If I'm unable to wish you on time, here's
Eid Mubarak to all my loved ones :)

=)

2006-10-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

Hm, would anyone like to migrate with me to Korea?

(Ley, yes yes?)

You wanna know why?
Look at my MSN icon.
Heh heh :)

and awin, it's far from what you said as 'muka tak mandi' yarr..

p/s: Thanks love for that song!!

**sings to herself: Andainya engkau tahu.. perasaan ini..

~hurrah!

Bummer

2006-10-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

Ainnnnn!~ It's all your fault.
Now I'm searching high and low for that ancient song of long long ago.
4U2C, Kenangan

Thus, those who have.
Do send me thru msn.
I is love that song.
to little bits and pieces.
*sigh*

A Bagful of Kit Kats, I Need.

2006-10-09T02:17:00.000+08:00

I seriously believe that respect has to be earned.
And for now, I've none for you.

Just want it to be over soonest.

Another sleepless night,a few more weeks of strained back. Til I can breathe easy. Ok, back to work. Again. Humbug.

Have a good working week y'all.
Ladidadida.. :)

And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

Don't Dream It's Over

2006-10-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I miss NIE a whole lot. Going to tutorials with the merepek kakis like lis, ji and arf. Getting away with them chit chats.. and jokes that brought tears to the eyes. hey! i even miss getting my chair kicked by lis, having to end up at the centre of the room, in the middle of math lesson. (i'll get back at u on this lis)(not funny eh, when all eyes are suddenly on you) slacking at the art room with zara amidst the art discussion. painting and doing up art pieces, feeling liberated chilling, listening to the droning voice of blackburn going on about mao and hitler. (which i came to love hitler and mao. as weird as it may seem.)

that's good life, i say. learning, being a full time student. i miss doing just that.

And yes, lunch..! Having datuk *shuddup ok :)* to get me the ikan pari *yummm* and western food. Wrestling with the tap to take wudhuk, not wanting to be the last one out. Praying together at the musollah. Puffing up the neverending staircase to the PE block together. them bus rides.

Well, the company was great, and sch was something to look forward to. Now, I'm looking forward to sleeping. Hm. I don't seem to enjoy work as much as studying.

So to those who are studying, do it with pleasure. That's the best time of your life. I know mine was. You know, screw it. I'll make sure tht i'm gonna be a student my whole life. irregardless what i'm studying.

THECast

2006-09-30T07:27:00.000+08:00

Haah, finally.. some snapps!!
.
.
.

And before any of you twits can say anything
Aku tak ajar dorang pose mcm gituk ok!!
Semuanya semula jadii!! :)

The angels who keep me sane

The little terrors whom I love all the same
*spot the ultraman*

Snap Happy!

For a better view, you can always check at my friendster account.

Until We Meet Again

2006-09-27T00:28:00.000+08:00

Don't read this if ur sick of sad entries. I mean it.

.
.
.
.
.
.

I don't like to talk about the passing of my late brother.
I want to remember him as someone happy and healthy.

But it's hard not to be reminded of him again and again.
Went to visit his grave the other day.
The first day of ramadhan.
A surge of mixed feelings just overcomed me,
mostly from the ache of missing him alot.
So I just cried and cried. I know it's wrong, but i can't help it.
The parents were crying as well. Still hurts alot.

And today, thanks to maz.. I cried again.
I thought I'm able to handle my feelings better.
I guess not.

But I came to realise that I'm not hurt over his passing.
I miss him painfully definitely.
What I could not get out of my mind is the memories
of seeing him in pain for the past 5 years.

Everyday..
Seeing him downing morphine, grimacing silently in pain
as he limps around the house
or just frozen on his bed curled in a ball
for years long.

I do not wish for anyone to experience such trauma of seeing
your loved one suffer, with you watching helplessly.

He was interviewed by a nurse in the hospice one night..
he was asked.. "Do you still remember how it feels like to be painfree?"

He kept silent for awhile.. "Hm, it's been long since I felt that way. That would be a bonus. But I'm thankful that I'm still alive with my family members supporting me all the time."

That words kept ringing in my head.

A bonus to feel painfree. Thankful that I'm still alive.

Coming from a person on his deathbed.
For sure, that will keep me going through tough times.
There's no reason for me to complain.

Whatever it is, i just miss him bad lor.
My big brother, forever he will always be.

Now, the seat opposite of me at the dining table is vacant during break fast.
Do you know how hard it is not to burst into tears during iftar?

:/

2006-09-20T23:11:00.000+08:00

Urgh.. I dont like this time of the year
the exam periods are nearing fast
stressed, u bet i am
for the kids, for the lessons..

glad that the big project is coming to an end *phewieee..*
feel like strangling youknow-who for it, really
tsk. but anyway.

i now know why my colleagues are mostly thin
we run about almost 80% of the time.

and if i don't lose weight by year end..
i should ask myself this very question
"What is up with you?!!"

but something about my job,
i'm lovin' it! alhamdulillah.
hope this feeling won't change for a long2 time

Hmm..

2006-09-01T19:56:00.000+08:00

It's usually the kids who gets on your nerves that you grow fond of. For me, that is. And at most times, they make my day with their endless antics and misbehaviours. Betul, tak bedek. There's two particular boys in fact. Let's call them MT and WC. Initials lah, initials...

MT is one who seldom meets his parents and more than often, did not do homeworks assigned. Always getting scoldings from me since I had my practicum with him. But alhamdulillah, for the past few weeks, he's been putting in effort to do them all without been reprimanded *whoopie to him!*

MT: Miss Ratna, what do you want for teacher's day?
Me: Get me a husband okay M..
MT: Haaah~.. but Miss Ratnaaa where to geeet oneeeeee?
*you should have seen his facial expression and the way he whines, eh.. kekek ok ni budak..*
Me: I'm kidding M, just keep the money for yourself okay.

WC however, is one kid who just can't seem to sit still and keep quiet.. very weak in english. But surprise, surprise!! He's been scoring excellent for my spelling.. rasanya sungguh best to see him performing.

WC: Miss Ratna... *shuffling frm leg to leg* I got something for you leh..
Me: Hmm? Yes WC? Why do you look so uncomfortable?
WC: Atcherly ah Miss Ratna.. I shy leh want to give.. my mother help me choose one leh..
Me: Alright, can you show it to me first then?
WC: Neh, this flower loh.. Nah Miss Ratna, take leh.
Me: Thank you WC, that's very sweet of you.. next time, plant your own flower and give it me okay? No need to buy..
WC: Ahh, plant ah.. but if die how leh.. i dunno how to plant flower leh. The flower you want poka dot one ah?
*the previous day, i was wearing poka dot shirt*
Me: WC, I'm just kidding you. Don't take me seriously. Just give me good results next time. I'll be more than happy.
WC: Orh.. okay lor. Happy Teacher Day Miss Ratna.
Me. It's Happy Teacher'S Day WC..
WC: *laughing* Orh orh.. solly2

u tell me, macam mana aku tak sayang gitu?

and thanks to lis, what a good way to end of this entry with
a super cute recitation by a young hafiz :)

Everyone.. Say AWW~

Don't you wish your future child would turn out just like him? I DO!

Al Fatihah

2006-08-25T01:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Mazzie and Daniel,

I know there's not much that I can do to ease your sorrow, but I just want the both of you to know that I'm here for you. I can't promise you that the days will be brighter anytime soon, but I can assure you that if you redha, things will be much more at ease. Let your wudhuk and istighfars be your cure in these tough times.

What is lent to us on Earth by Allah will surely be returned to Him in due time.

It was definitely a hard day for all of us, with the passing of two closely related individuals. Although I'm not close to either, I know that both souls are equally kind-hearted and selfless. InsyaAllah their journey to rahmatullah will be a smooth one accompanied by supplications and invocations of the loved.

Dear Maz and Dan, you might be wondering what is the hikmah behind the passing. It may not be clear now. But it will surface at one time that allows you to best reflect. Once you've overcome this hardship in patience, insyaAllah the berkat will be there. Have faith in Allah's promise to His beloved creations, which includes the both of you.

Verily, with the hardship, there is relief.

Please dears, do not lose faith in Allah's goodwill.

If at any point of time you need support, do give me a call. InsyaAllah, I'll be able to lessen your sadness and worries. I'm all ears, yup? No matter what, I'll be waiting for your calls.

Do take care of yourselves, you two.
Your family and friends still need you :)

With much love,
Nur Ratna

downhill

2006-08-16T01:51:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, things just don't seem to be
as bright as other days
well, that's life..

i keep psycho-ing myself
there's nothing much to be stressed about.
it's just work.
over and done with soon enuff.

on a brighter note altogether

i can't wait to see my pri 1s for p.e tmrw
they're just so full of love and wide smiles

InsyaAllah :).. So excited I am, really!!

2006-08-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

Finally, it's time to apply for it!! ~Whoooopie!!
I is very excited (oh, i know im on repeat mode!)

There's so many things that I wanna achieve
But I know I've got to slow down to prevent major burnt-out
priorities, priorities..

but all 3 are important
nyeh, i need a good talk with my mentor in school.., a wise teacher whom i trust to elevate my motivation and definitely, loads of supplications to lead me to the right decision

in case you're wondering
im thinking of joining SIM
taking BA / BA (Honours) English with Psychology
(we'll be schmates once again bestie!! LOL)

(and diploma in Islamic Studies and a driving license to take care of the car while dad is away at most times.)

cuz i need the content knowledge and skills in dealing with them kids in school. oh, the excitement, the excitement!! I'm glad that the parents are behind me in this as well. Takes my mind off work, to say the least. Relaxes the mind, widens my horizon.

Just want the best out of my time from now on.

Okay2, ratna breathe. now focus!

- lesson planning
- do remedial worksheets
- markings
- admin stuff for tmrw.

on your mark, get set.. GO!! :)
InsyaAllah.

sixth sense

2006-08-10T19:54:00.000+08:00

quite freaky when it happened,
but nonetheless.. it felt reassuring :)

a while back ago
while waiting for maghrib prayers at maulana
a lady came to sit down beside me
as per norm
i was just keeping quiet and having my thoughts to myself

"Assalamu'alaikum. I'm sorry to intrude but you seem troubled.
Would you want to share it with me?" she asked.
(well at this point of time, she left me stunned definitely.)

"Wa'alaikumsalam. I'm fine sis, just having some messed up thoughts.
But, it's really kind of you for asking. No problem with that, yah?"
i said, smiling.

Then, the maghrib adzhan was called.
She gave me a pat at the back and a slow grin.

.
.
.
.
.

unknowingly, she just brightened my day with that simple gesture.
To you, Jazakallahu khayran :)

.a moment in time.

2006-08-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

it's quiet moments like this which gets this mind ticking. you know, i wish i have the power to freeze time. to undo past mistakes, to make up for the lack of,to embrace in happy thoughts.. u get the drift. but im human. live for the present, and not lament over the past.

Work has taught me to treasure and appreciate time. Prayer times especially. it's real hard to be khusyuk when you have 30 minutes to cool urself down, take wudhuk, rush to your work station, prepare for prayers, pray and prepare for the next lesson. it's no joke to be doing that day in and day out. i feel like a horrid, horrid person everyday.

However, I'm very2 grateful to be getting a corner all by myself. giving me the privacy to pray without insecurities of intrusion. I know Allah knows me best and He's fulfilling my needs.

a friend once asked me if i'd want to be in the leadership track. nope, i know its not for me. i dont like having to deal with office politics. we only have one life, no point in fretting over such trivial matters. i believe that if we have the potential, Allah will give it to us. There's no need for competition of such. do one's best and leave the future to Allah.

There's always a reason to a supplication unanswered. Something better, more fulfilling.

I used to think of what the hikmah might be, behind my late brother's passing.

As I enter my profession, a little girl under my care is undergoing what i went through a few years back. but it involves her parent. i can relate when she burst out crying while holding my hand as we walk down the stairs. At times, i catch her just looking at me and smiling quietly. Another of my boy just lost his father to a terminal illness. I can relate to the little boy who seems confused, but tried his best to show a tough front nonetheless. I can relate to a troubled kid who burst his anger at his friends and teachers after listening to his heart.

Time unveils itself mysteriously. It surprises. For the past months, I learn to take a step back and look beyond the surface. Behavioural problems are usually evolved from psychology and emotion. React to the troubled emotions, not the behaviour. And now I a true believer of 'love conquers it all'. A little care and love goes a long way.

I used to grumble abt my first assignment. But now I see the need for me to be there for them. There is always a reason and hikmah behind everything that's thrown at you in life. This, I learn its true meaning at the age of 23. Not too late i hope.

La taghdhab. La taghdhab. La taghdhab. A reminder from our beloved Prophet to us. A simple statement, manifested with such deep meanings.Once we understand that.. sakinah is ours. InsyaAllah.

Let's work on it.

d.r.i.f.t

2006-08-06T00:20:00.000+08:00

wow, how time pass just like that
and it'll definitely zoom by til december comes
sheeshness

hey all.. the internet's down at home
thus the lack of updates and all...

caught 2fast2furious, shanghai drift. i still prefer the first tho, with diesel and all the works * and by the works, i dont mean his muscles mind you* the rides.. beeeautiful. yummmmy. oh, not forgetting paul walker. heh.

nothing much to update really cuz my life now revolves just around work, my bed and some more important stuffs. eeeyeap. and to add, early nights for me now.

So uh huh, which explains. Its now past my bedtime. Ta ta you all, hope to catch u soon for some dinner or sumthing sumthing. am missing all the actions that's been happening..

lovelove!! :)

something's not quite right

2006-07-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

hmm...

been having this strange feelings lingering for quite a while
time to do some reflection

mean while,
things have been AOK *for me, at least*
smells fishy somewhere though

is it just me
or am i just being paranoid

on a totally different plane altogether
i just wish that
i'm now a photographer and a website designer all in one
be one with nature, immense myself in solitude
sucha bliss ain't it

I need pills

2006-07-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

I is very penat okay, hence due to the lack of updates and short entries. No joke, teaching seeps the energy out of you. However, the only time I look forward to is entering the classroom to meet the lil ones. I have very adorable and funny characters in my class. They love hearing stories most of the time. Hence, out goes my childhood incidents. (they can't believe that once upon time, I was out in the school field catching tadpoles with my pri sch frens .. well, for now.. i can't believe it either :/. what was i thinking?)

To cut the post short, i have loads of outstanding work to do and its already 12:10am. Gotta be in sch early for TAF club tmrw. Can you beat that. The person who knows next to nothing about sports and exercise is in charge of TAF club. Ketawa sikit pls. I think this is a sign for me to get my butt off and do some serious work outlah can (PE lessons and TAF club, if I don't get the msg.. I don't know what bigger signs could there be...).

Lis, I hope ur satisfied with this not-so short post. See you girls on Thursday morning!! :) Babye..!!

small bodies, big aspirations

2006-06-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

He wants to be a mountaineer.
He wants to be a pilot.
He wants to be a veterinarian.
He wants to be an astronaut.

Luckily tho, none wants to be a mat yoyo cat.
Nasib baik ok.

That's it, my kids with big dreams. :)

Gah, procrastinate schromastimate..

2006-06-24T19:25:00.000+08:00

Really, really wanted to create a new layout *and* upload the lesson plans - smiles sheepishly at arfah- BUT! *see, there's always a big fat but* i don't think i have the time to do so this weekend. Still have a few things to settle before Monday comes. Can just feel the heart threating to leap out of my ears really. The excitement and nervousness all mixed into one, gulps.

THINGS TO BE DONE:-
(1) Bellwork for Day 1 (Student Profile)
(2) Setting the agenda for the first day
(3) Writing 40 copies of "Homework Notebook" Layout
(4) Intro. Powerpoint -almost done, phew!
(5) First Day Letter
(6) Compile the appropriate supplications and ayats.

Okay, shall update more soon when there's finally a breather :)
Ba-bye *waves*

..of thrills & first times

2006-06-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

Aaaiyeap.. :) First it was the facial, followed by some illegal driving!!

Wednesday saw me splurging a little less than a hundred bucks on an intense facial treatment at Jean Yip. Well, 2 days later.. not much/nothing improved. Guess if it's not for the experience, I would have killed myself for blasting the money away just like that. Although the cooling gel did some relaxing to me, yuummm-mmie. To say the least, that's my last facial ever!!

Next, would be trashing the best friends' car at my car pack at approximately 12:45am yesterday. That woman must be out of her mind to let me be behind the wheels in the main road. Now, don't ever let someone who have exactly ze-ro experience in driving to make a turn into the carpark. That'll cause some panic moments when the car threatened to drive onto the pavement. Just what I did.. ~well, no-one told me not to step onto the accelerator while making a turn can?? How was I to know that stepping the break will still allow some movemennnnt? With some help from the best friend, she drove me to the opposite of the multistory carpark. There, a 5 minute crash course on how to drive and turn got me ready to travel towards my block. Not bad tau, for a first timer to drive in curves!! Although it took much much much longer than usual. But I love Maz for taking the risk of me trashing her car. Hahaha.. one experience I will never forget okay womannn!! *muacks*

Uh huh, I'm no longer a facial and driving virgin. :)

So maz, when will be our next session? How about me driving you to your house instead? Tak serammm kan? *lol*

"Read! In the Name of your Lord..." Chapter 36. Al-'Alaq

2006-06-16T01:30:00.000+08:00

This course is specially designed and developed to help out adult and new Muslim in learning and reciting the Qur'an with a structured syllabus painlessly and effectively, within the shortest possible time. INSYAALLAH!

It is the first of its kind to be conducted in English, aided by the latest technology, PowerPoint slides and Projector. At the same time, you'll learn to write the Arabic letter. Also, it's group learning, meaning; learning and helping each other in class.

TAISIR QIRA'ATIL QUR'AN
Basic Qur'an reading course (for adults & new Muslims, especially total beginners)

DATE/TIME
1 Jul (Saturday) 2.30 pm - 4.00 pm
1 Jul (Saturday) 9.00 pm - 10.30 pm
4 Jul (Tuesday) 7.30 pm - 9.00 pm
5 Jul (Wednesday) 9.00 pm - 10.30 pm
COURSE FEE: $50 per month (20 weeks)

TAJWID AL-QUR'AN
(For graduates of Taisir Qira'atil Al-Qur'an/ those who are able to read the Qur'an)

DATE/TIME
17 June (Saturday) 11.30 am - 1.00 pm
17 June (Saturday) 7.30 pm - 9.00pm
18 June (Sunday) 7.30 pm - 9.00 pm
COURSE FEE: $50 per month (20 weeks)

--------------------------------------------
REGISTER NOW, LIMITED SEATS!
REGISTRATION : $15 (one time payment)
NOTES : $15
--------------------------------------------

Conducted by :-
USTAZ AHMAD JELANI Imam of Sultan Mosque
- Post Grad. Dip. Syariah & Perundangan Islam (UKM)
- Imam & Dai'e Ar-Rabitah Al-Islami Al-'Alami (K.S.A.)

USTAZ ZULKIFLI BACHIK

- Imam of Darul Makmur Mosque

Walk-in registration is at :-
AL-JAUHAR (DARUL-ULUM), 69 HAJI LANE

(NEXT TO ARAB STREET).
Call before coming.

FOR ENQUIRIES, CALL
9689 7341, 9689 7466, 9296 7419

--------------------------------------------
You might have missed out this advertisement in TNP/BH on the 9th June 2006. Registration is still open to those who are interested. Those with enquiries, I urge you to call either of the 3 numbers for further clarification or email me at myHappy3nding@gmail.com. Those with my mobile, you can contact me personally as well.

:: 2 weeks & counting down ::

2006-06-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

So.., I don't quite have the drive yet to start with the term preparations. Still enjoying the holiday like as if it will never end. This week however is packed with dates with them friends though.

Monday -* Induction/s
Tuesday -* Out with Him / Talaqqi Class
Wednesday -* Date with Leyley pom pipi
Thursday -* Basic Theory lesson with Ji -like finally kan-
Friday -* Islamic Studies Course
Saturday -* Stay-in Day
Sunday -* Fardhu Ain Class

Most definitely I'll be exhausted come Thursday. =/ But am looking forward to the classes though. For Friday, we'll be touching on the topic of "Qur'an and Science". Amazing, an indepth look on the contents of the kitabullah. I love attending these classes cuz it gives great emphasis on the signs of Allah in ourselves and the surroundings. Am on the look out for the paperback "Bible, Holy Qur'an and Science" in relation to the contents of the class. Waah funlah!!

[ 10:5 ] It is He Who made the sun to be a shining glory and the moon to be a light (of beauty), and measured out stages for her; that ye might know the number of years and the count (of time). Nowise did Allah create this but in truth and righteousness. (Thus) doth He explain His Signs in detail, for those who understand.

[ 10:6 ] Verily, in the alternation of the night and the day, and in all that Allah hath created, in the heavens and the earth, are signs for those who fear Him.

I'm really supplicating hard that the drive to pursue this knowledge will not falter once teaching starts. Cuz I know it can be very taxing after a whole days' work. :/ Insya Allah. This is by far my biggest worry. Aargh.

Just wanna share with you my personal experiences. Throughout this few years of starting afresh in attending religious class, I can sense the impact knowledge have on my faith. To me, it is very important to have consistency in gaining both duniawi and ukhrawi knowledge. Especially consistency in ukhrawi. At least, once in 3 days; At best, everyday. Definitely, if one is not constantly reminded of the great attributes of Allah, the nur of one's iman will fade away day by day.

The best syifa' to one's faith is in the recitations of Al Qur'an. Be it reading or listening to its recitations. My personal favourite is the recitations of Syeikh Musya'ari Rasyid. Very soothing and moving. The first time I heard the murattal was at Wisma Indah. Lovely. Very effective in relieving all worries and stress. Helps to calm your mind before sleep as well.

Let us be in constant purification of our hearts and souls before the day comes for us to return to Allah. Insya Allah. Nothing is impossible without His Guidance.

"Will you miss us, Miss Ratna?" she says

2006-06-08T00:08:00.000+08:00

So yes, the primary 5 camp is finally over. Time to chill before the endless inductions and meetings start. Just got back from ikea. Met the babes along the way *hey girls!! :)* followed by Wan at causeway point. Quite psyched that teaching will soon start (hokay, i know some mite be tired of reading this over and over again. but reaaally!!). Just hope I don't screw up the kids' lifes, that's about it hahaa.

Going to be moving to the late bro's room later this week. Shelves at his room were all cleared. Still hurts a whole lot. But, we have to go through this eventually. Uh huh. Caught the mum crying while going through his stuff. Had to stop the tears from flowing there. Especially when I saw his familiar handwriting. He had the most loveliest handwriting ever for a guy. Straight and very neat. Very distinctive. It's quite easy to clear his things away. The way he arranged his stuffs. Meticulous and organised. Not much clutter. His achievements and all that.

It's going to be a tough year I know. But heck. If the late brother can battle his way through cancer, I can battle my way through life no matter how hard it can be.

Chin up nur. When life gives you lemon, make lemonade.

True isn't it. At the end of the day, what's left is your faith and good deeds. You're going to return to your Almight Creator anyway. Why fret the worldly things when its His syafaat you will need then.

Better to have a tough life in this world than the hereafter.

it's not easy to be, me

2006-06-05T23:53:00.000+08:00

. I need toothpicks .

2006-05-25T22:55:00.000+08:00

The feet is killing me *yes, this first line has got nothing to do with the title*. Been walking around school alot this past few days. Relief teaching, finding for this and that. However, it has been an a-okay for the first week. Had a 'puppetry workshop' this morning... oh, friggin fun i tell you...! Although, i think i made quite a fool of myself during the short presentation. This coconut here acted as the Princess puppet *merepek or what*. i feel like a bimbo afterwards can?? It was really interesting nonetheless.. teehee. Mymymy, i can't wait to start teaching come july!!

I'm relieved tho that I'm not taking up one of the top classes as the first assignment. Much prefer those of lower ability, very humble bunch indeed; tho they can be quite a handful at times... but i love :) Another happy news.. I won't be teaching math this year!! Whhhhooooooopie ddoooo!! * 3 cheers for me!* Be taking a primary 3 batch for the main class and pri 4 and 1 for the rest.. Be teaching, *breathes in* english, science, social studies, health education, art&craft and p.e *breathes out*. (so ayu and ji, we can share lesson planss! kehkhekhe) Okay pe kan, boleh jadi sssssslim!! Finally, I'll be runninng after ages.. kwakwakwa.

Well..., another Friday tomorrow. Can't wait for the night class. Rest and relax time listening to ustaz's lecture. Feels great to be a student always, don't u think so?

hoookay you all, have a great weekend yeap? I know mine will.. :) Ma'assalamah wa ilalliqa'!!

---

Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The Parable of His Light is as if there were a Niche and within it a Lamp: the Lamp enclosed in Glass: the glass as it were a brilliant star: Lit from a blessed Tree, an Olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well-nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it: Light upon Light! Allah doth guide whom He will to His Light: Allah doth set forth Parables for men: and Allah doth know all things.
[Surah An-Nur :35]

Our Ongoing Tests

2006-05-20T20:45:00.000+08:00

Just wanna share this email article with you readers. I'm certain it will be very helpful for our daily life. InsyaAllah :)

Nothing on earth is created in vain, but rather with wisdom. Understanding this fact depends on the wisdom of people themselves. One whose faith and consequently whose wisdom and prudence increase, will happen to grasp this reasoning much better in time.

One of the most important precepts is that we are being tested throughout our whole lives. Allah tests our sincerity and our faith on different occasions. He may give favours to test whether we are grateful to Him or not. He may create difficulties, for us, to reveal whether we behave with patience or not: "Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. To Us you will be returned." (Surat al-Anbiya, 21:35)

We are to be tested in various ways. This is explained in the Qur'an in the verse: "Be sure we shall test you with fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere." (Surat al-Baqara, 2:155)

Our lives have indeed been planned with the mystery of our being tested. First of all, we are being tested in our physical beings. The Qur'an states that "Verily We created Man from a drop of mingled sperm, in order to try him: So We gave him (the gifts of) hearing and sight." (Surat al-Insan, 76:2). Consequently, everything we hear and see is actually a part of the test. In all kinds of situations, we will be tested to see whether we behave in accordance with the Qur'an or with our own vain desires.

Allah tests the steadfastness of the believers with various difficulties. One of the most important of these is the oppression of the believers by the unbelievers. All these misdeeds, like verbal attacks, mocking, physical oppression and even torture and murder attempts, are only a means of trial for the believers.

In one of the verses; it is said: "You shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if you persevere patiently, and guard against evil, then that will be a determining factor in all affairs." (Surat Aal-e-Imran, 3:186)

The most important point to comprehend is that all of these deprivations and misadventures are created by Allah as a special kind of test. One who does not understand this will become very superficial. The Qur'an cites a pertinent tale of certain Jews. "Ask them concerning the town standing close by the sea; when they transgressed in the matter of the Sabbath. For on the day of their Sabbath, their fish did come to them, openly holding up their heads, but on the day they had no Sabbath, they came not: thus did We made a trial for them, for they were given to transgression." (Surat al-A'raf, 7:163)

Only the individual who has wisdom can realize that he is being tested, and can succeed in these tests by again using his wisdom. Therefore, a believer should not forget that he is being tested throughout his life. These tests cannot be passed or the heaven cannot be attained simply by saying 'I believe'.

"Do men think that they will be left alone on saying 'We believe', and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false." (Surat al-Ankaboot, 29:2-3)

And in another verse Allah says: "Did you think that you would enter Heaven without Allah testing those of you who fought hard (in His Cause) and remained steadfast?" (Surat Aal-e-Imran, 3:142)

HARUN YAHYA

. touched .

2006-05-20T20:22:00.000+08:00

have i told you that i'm blessed with beautiful friends?

Yes, yes.. all of them are, i tell you. The heart went ~Aaaaawwwww after going through the gifts by Mar and Ayu. In addition to Arf's made-with-love keychain. Wahliew, very feeeeling can?? was trying to recount the last time we attended lecture together and the mind came out blank! Acccck. Gooooooodness, I'm going to miss all of you girls like madness can. Your loud outbursts, merepekness and all that. And Lis's high pitched laughter and itchy fingers *shakes head*.

Anyway, do reply to the email which i will send soon. Please eh, aku pun blum bagi korang the presents yet. So, we must make it happen horrr..

*love, love and kisses all around folks*

what's weird, u might ask

2006-05-16T23:40:00.000+08:00

is eating chicken murtabak with yogurt drink.
it tastes awfully misplaced.
but all's good really *lol*

anyway, i is scared to face the vice principal on monday.
seram or what.
dang, i can't believe i'm already starting on my lifetime career.
but i'm glad.. so glad.. yumyummm..

so ladies, hopefully i ain't too sleepy to join you girls on the ikea trip tmrw
boxes, boxes!! i want them boxes!!

be right back

2006-05-15T00:03:00.000+08:00

:: with a new template::
:)

ooh, the excitement of nothingness
*muacks* *muacks*

go away mr postman :/

2006-05-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

..so the posting results are out aye?

The first reaction was definitely one big horrified look upon receiving the sms from mum. Like I've said in my previous entries, I wouldn't want to return to the practicum school. But come night time, as I reflected what I had supplicated for, I've got to trust on His decision for me. Allah will only give what is best for His creations, that I need to remind myself and redha. He's the Most Knowledgable on all things seen and unseen. I've always aspired to be a super teacher. Insya Allah, with the upcoming experience, it'll shape me to be at my best performance as a muslim and an educator.

Hey, come on.. S.V.P.S. I'm up for the challenge.

*thanks to my uncle for teaching me this supplication*
Bismillahilladzhi la ya durru ma'as bihi syaiun fil ard, wala fissamai wahu wassami ul azhim.

.. uh huh

2006-05-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

Get Your Music Video Code Here

zapping away

2006-05-05T01:52:00.000+08:00

it's nearly 2 in the morning
and here i am printing away my lesson plans
hey, don't get me wrong
i love printing stuffs
i find the printer sounds therapeutic
(as weird as that sounds)

so the book's here and hey hey!
it's worth my every little penny
can't wait to start on my classroom procedures plan
for the coming term *woots2*
am determined to start of my teaching career
on the right foot, yeaps
hence, with the help of this book
the action plan for the prep. of e new semester shall begin

actually, i've got all the things pretty much listed down
just need some typing and filing before all's set
but i'm sure of this tho -
procrastination and the need to enjoy e holidays
will lead to, last minute preps as expected

but hey.. i'll try to make the opposite happen, yeap?

i'm just bored waiting for the printing to end
thus resulting in the blabbering
counting down the slides really *yawnnn*

just can't wait to give this file away
and i'm still craving for that

fried fish noodle soup w milk & loads of chilli padi
and cold chin teng @ JP banquet *drools*
heaven sent lah okay
not to mention that tom yam ban mian at raffles
chocolate ice cream waffles (A&W)
ikan pari bakar

adoooooi
this is bad

i tell you, this have to be the time of the month
wah pianggg * slaps forehead*

heey mr postman~

2006-05-04T14:18:00.000+08:00

so e supervisor arranged for e post prac. meeting tmrw
on one hand, yaaaiy~! i get to meet the lovelies..
irene, vis and faith
on the other.. it's a ~drattts
i've not done them reflections since week 4!
naughty, naughty ratna hehe..

that's not all
the dad wanted me to write an appeal
for his speeding ticket, a $170 slap *ouch*
tulah.. told him so many times
stop speeding abah, stop stop!
but nooooooooooo tsktsk *wags finger*
see, ambik 8 demerit points..
hopefully the appeal's accepted with
the help of a family fren, haha

btw, mr postman.. where are you??
i want that harry book pleaseee
excited i am, darling!
he's dropping off the book at 9pm tonight
eeeyaiiiiiy!!
i is waiting, mr postman :)
yummmm

somewhere only we know

2006-05-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

---

well, things are pretty mundane currently..
it's good to have this breather, to just sit at home
and get some things to sink in
i do awfully miss the late brother
at times when things get rough in the head
it really helps to take a step back
and think things through

the grandma dreamt of him the other day
approached her in his blue baju kurung n white songket
told her that he's doing good there

i don't know, hopefully that's true
just want the best for him

it's gonna be his 100th day soon
and i'll be moving to his room the day after
am wondering how i'll react to that
like you know.. "hmm, he's really gone."
I mean, I've accepted that he'd returned to rahmatullah
but there are still signs of him everywhere

it's not gonna be easy
but i'll be okay, i know i will.
Insyallah

Attention: NIE loves

2006-04-26T11:39:00.000+08:00

Wei, you nie womans *ini sengaja ok the grammatical error... knowing some spotters here..lol* i was thinkkkking.. you all wanna plan some graduation after party or noooot. we can book a hotel room straight after the party, how leh how leh. must plan now mah correctness? yoklah arf, ayu and all *malas nak type kesemua 7-8 nama all..* :).

just wanna blog abt it now before it slipped off my mind hehe. Ookay, how now how now?

feel blessed

2006-04-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

just took a cab ride home from class tonight. and i feel so blessed. indeed, reaching home near midnight is never my favourite thing to do. (well, you know how my neighbourhood is. very, very secluded) MasyaAllah, the cab driver is soo nice. Never mind that he is a Chinese. He offered to escort me to the staircase. Can you believe that. Such a nice old man really. what a good heart he have. very touched okay saya, even though to some it might seem like a norm, small gesture.

anyway, moving on..

by any chance, do any of you know of a good and systematic arabic class around? cuz the current one is just too fast of a pace and advanced for me, hehe. just not satisfied with reading the qur'an without knowing its meaning. i mean, granted that there's tafsirs around. but it's really fustrating isn't it?? reciting surahs in your prayer without knowing its meaning? hence, to those of in the know.. i really appreciate and welcome your feedback. xie, xie.. i mean syukran. lol

alrighty, have a good night all!! til next time... :)

of elfs and shoes, this and that

2006-04-22T21:34:00.000+08:00

can i meet the shoemaker who'll work wonders in creating a perfect fit for me? Grrr-ness. Painful abrasions appeared albeit i'd been wearing socks. *growl* and no okay, i don't believe in biting them shoes b4 wearing them for the first time.. i feel that's just plain foolish.

so how did my week go, u might ask? busy, i'd say. been heading down to bugis a couple of times to get some things done.. apart from that, meeting up with the nie babes for a walk-around and buying THAT pair of shoes *breaths in, breaths out*. caught up with Nad few days back.. and chanced upon Ju at yishun just now. drats, i miss that girl. well you all, she'd changed her hp. no. if you want it, come and get it *from me* :).

and i miss my awin, ley and maz tau! *hint.. hint* ~wwwwwwwwwweally *nods* oh ya, just so you know.. my hols is actually just a mere 3 weeks *happy now, lis??* jadi.. 3 tolak 1.. left with 2 weeks. hehe. beffffoore workshops starts and induction kicks in. (it still hasn't sunk it that i'll be a full blown teacher come may 22nd)ohh tiiiidaaaaaaaaaak, jgnlah bagiku another notorious class again!! Tak reeeela~ Lower primary please eh? morning session, can? can? tak nak science ok, not in my core subjects. Tima kaceh awak mr. moe :)

~Takpe do'a byk2, nothing is impossible. InsyaAllah.

ooh oh, did i tell you. I just did my first online transaction at amazon last week. Bought a book by Harry Wong. On classroom management lagi.. semangat or what??

well.. hoookay enough of this senseless ramblings. i'll update with sumthing fruitful soon. Hugs to everyyyyyone! love love *muacks*

the frog pwince

2006-04-19T00:14:00.000+08:00

look at what he got me for our 3rd anniversary

That's the most adorable thing I've ever been given. A puppet frog and the book set of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". See, told ya I'm easy to please. Quite amazed that he could actually remember the 2 things that I've been wanting and searching for so long.. especially the frog puppet. It beats any bouquet of flowers really. Whoooopie, happy saya!! Another 2 for teaching resource.

Okay, that's it for the update. Hehe. Nyte2 all :)

how things can make the world go round

2006-04-16T23:11:00.000+08:00

What started out as a conversation on module fees turned to be an intense, fruitful discussion between ustazah and i. She brought in surah Al-Asr describing the shortage of time one have to seek knowledge and do good deeds in this world. Basically, in that one hour conversation.. she emphasized on (1) Preparation for marriage (2) A Good Spouse with the Same Vision (3) Seeking knowledge as a lifetime virtue (4) Children as an Amanah (5) Time Management (6) Allah's Court in the Hereafter. That conversation will be stuck to my head for a long2 time. It made alot of sense really. She got me rethinking about the future and my plans for it. Alhamdulillah.

Scary isn't it, the time we spend in idle; when each passing moment brings us closer to death. Are we ready to face death? Are we ever ready? What if one day we wake up from sleep with a question, "Ma Rabbuka?" Are we ready to face Munkar and Nakir then?

I guess, the only answer to it is to be in constant preparation for the moment. Life Vs Death, Youth Vs Old Age, Good Health Vs Illness, Poverty Vs Wealth and Restriction Vs Ease. Allah might take away any of this irregardless of sequence. Allah may take our life during our youth. Allah may take away our good health in replacement of wealth. What good is that to us? Scary, isn't it. Everything is up to Allah's will. If only we reflect, if only we reflect.

Again, the answer to it; constant acts of good deeds. With our wealth now, we should always give sedekah. What if we forgot abt the nikmat and Allah take it away? It will be too late for regrets then.

She got me thinking about that. Jazakallah to her.

Future teachers. Take note. Our job is no easy feat. These children is our amanah. Role models for character and responsibility in disseminating knowledge. Children pick things up easily, and especially in our generation where modesty is taken lightly, moral education is of utmost importance. Skill to reason between the right and wrong. This is what is lacking now.

Let's just touch on us being Muslims. Halal vs haram. What is halal is very clear, what is haram is also very clear. There is no grey area.. when there is doubt, leave it. But in the akhir zaman, it's really fustrating to see these things happening when most of us are educated and knowledgable. We are all definitely much smarter than common ppl of the yesteryears.. but why aren't we using our intellect?

I guess the answer is in everyone. Oh well.

and life's back to normal again

2006-04-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

finally.. prac's over. *phew*
what an experience really...
for now, i just pray i won't get posted to that school

butt crrrap, i forgot to return one of the english books to my ct
daaaaaaaaaaaaaarn it :/ *agh*
well, another return trip on monday.. oh well

the other 8 fab girls were truly amazing really
kept me sane thru the whole journey
the post prac dinner at swensens was awesome as expected *love, love*
i'll definitely miss them.. and their crap in tow
bukit panjang plaza is not that of an awful place anymore
renovations' turning it into quite a beauty..
the shops.. the shops!!

and of cuz..this entry won't be complete without
welcoming the much awaited short holidays!!
3 months, no? what bliss~ yummy
now now,
can u hear ikea calling my name..?
I CAN!! whooopy :)

have a splashing week ahead you all
take care now <3

. the final league .

2006-04-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

it's the last 4 days of practicum. how time reallly flies. well, time for a well deserved rest now. 3 weeks.. yummy. early mornings with jamie oliver and more. yes girls, we should meet up for dinner next week.. yeap?

was heading to clementi today when i saw the vast transformation of almukminin. the mosque is huggge now can. it was just this plain medium-sized building when the late brother and i were attending madrasah in primary school. (had pictures of us taken in our madrasah uniforms, will scan it if time permits.. super cute really) but it's well worth the pains. alot more classrooms are being built for future lessons. do support the fund raising they are holding yeap peeps? all for a good cause.

anyway, holland village is one interesting place for a chill out venue. love love.

just f.y.i, Davidoff's 'Echo' for men is so sedap. has that spicy smell.. like CK 'Crave'. betul, tak bedek.. was sniffing it @ Sasa just now. Would be a very nice gift for a special someone.

okay, lesson planning time. til next time.. take care!!

the countdown

2006-04-05T09:21:00.000+08:00

can you smell the air?
it's getting fresher as the days go by...

..eeeeeyaap!!
6 days to go before holiday commences
sweet

=)

:: breathe ::

2006-04-03T08:19:00.000+08:00

you know what
forget reality tv for entertainment
> THIS < beats them all with just one click
no kidding

well, if u can't get enough
here's to more amazingly fab stuff .

Say "hello" to a good monday!!

.. you know

2006-04-01T10:54:00.000+08:00

had a somewhat weird but i-wish-it-would-come-true dream
was in a cab with maz on the way to somewhere
and she was donned in a baby blue tudung
(my baby blue tudung which i think is still with her)*hint2*
"Eh maz, kau dah pakai tudung?!! Eh, jomlah pegi
geylang.. kita can stock up tudungs yok!" i said to her
and she said, "Aah yok ah.. aku pun ada satu ajaa"
the cab drove around..
.
.
.
.

and i woke up!!
wahseh, maz.. i think ah.. IT'S A SIGN!!!!
Yes yes, IT IS!!
jom.. apaaaaalagi.. geylang meh!~ (arab street also can..)

//whistles to ley: Date on the saturday of our payday hor woman. Khekhee..

sweet :)

2006-03-30T23:16:00.000+08:00

the government's giving out some loving come may
yummy... 600 bucks, good cash.. alhamdulillah!!!
~whooopyness!!

another 2 weeks until end of prac. how time flies...
tho those kids can be quite a handful most days,
am gonna miss their antics, me thinks.
... humbug

.
.
.

the windows media player just played indecent obsession
.. that's one of his favourite bands.

i miss him like mad lah seh :(
just scared i'll forget how his voice sounded like..
treasure ur siblings peeps, no matter how mad they can make you be
............. yah.

Seeing Red

2006-03-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

You know...

I wonder why they have the knack of giving me the horrid classes for practicum.
First it was the out-of-control p2 class with the 'Famous 5s'.
This time round is a p4 class with a bunch of ... I really don't know where to begin describing them. Goodness, if this is how my patience is gonna be tested for the rest of my teaching career.. I'll be growing wrinkles in less than 5 years. Well, least I know what to expect come the real thing. Takes alot of patience to manage them without constantly screaming. Makan hati ok when you're really trying hard to deliver your lesson well and these lil hooligans, one by one, start their antics.

Had an observation by the CT with that class just now. And they chose the wrong day to be extra vocal. Can only manage to istighfar in order not to blow up in front of my CT. But hey, an eye for an eye. They give me trouble.. they'll be expecting bigger trouble.

Here's to more drill-and-practice worksheets. Zilch to the cooperative learnings. Say hello to the military-style classroom management.. that's one thing i'm freaking good at which I've been trying not to do for this practicum. Quite easy really.. a few hints for it to work real well.

1) Wear heels and combination of black and a warm colour (clothes)
2) Walk in, avoid eye contact.. with the im-having-pms-so-u-jolly-well-dont-mess-with-me look. Maintain the look for the rest of the teaching period.
3) Drop your things on the teachers table.
4) Stand in the middle of the class, fold your arms and stare at them.
5) Wait until the class is quiet.. greet them.
6) Make them stand for the next 10 minutes while calling out instructions and reprimanding the students in their face.
7) Start teaching.. For every student who talks without permission, the whole class stands for 5 minutes.
8) So in the end, you'll have a class of tired students who'd rather keep quiet and behave then having to repeatedly sit and stand throughout the 2 periods.
9) Get students to erase their entire workbook exercise and stay in during recess for good penmanship.
10) Do that for the entire week and you'll get a boring but well behaved class in the end.

Just to save myself for this practicum.. I'll do that for the next 13 days. There, enough ranting. Back to lesson planning.

In Memory of Iqbal

2006-03-25T21:49:00.000+08:00

Innalilla hi wa inna ilaihi rojiun

The Divine Will
Narrated Usama:
Once while I was with the Prophet and Sa'd, Ubai bin Ka'b and Mu'adh were also sitting with him, there came to him a messenger from one of his daughters, telling him that her child was on the verge of death. The Prophet told the messenger to tell her, "It is for Allah what He takes, and it is for Allah what He gives, and everything has its fixed time (limit). So (she should) be patient and look for Allah's reward."
Al-Bukhari

Dearest Arafah and family, my prayers are with you.

I really don't know what to say to comfort you. The love of a mother is the greatest, they say. But arafah, trust me.. Allah's love is truly unimaginable.. for iqbal, you and your family.

Hang in there sis.. your support pillows are all here by you!! If you need us, we are all here for you.

But do remember babe, Allah is your main source of reliance, not us. Empty your heart to Him. He is your Creator, He knows you better than yourself or any other people. He has all the answers to your solutions. With faith and trust in Allah, you will be able to handle things with much ease. Let the istighfar and tasbih be your best friends for now, yah? They will bring in patience and acceptance through this tough time.

We love you okay, just want you to know that. *hugs*

just love to irritate that twerp

2006-03-18T23:41:00.000+08:00

- glances over to see what the lil brother is doing.
- saw him chatting on msn with his friend. (handsome ok, that friend)

.
.
.

[me] eh boy, who's that.. your friend ah?
[him] *looking at me weirdly* yaaaah.. why?
[me] he's very good looking you know...
[him] (incredulous look)eeeeeii what's why you?!!
[me] wwwwwhat.. it's just a remark, cannot meh?
[him] very sick can..
[me] nooleh, where got.. btw, can i get to know him? quite cute leh he
[him] you are kidding me right? i teeeell him ahh..!!
[me] tell loorr.. the next thing you know, we'll have common friends~
[him] okay go away, ur starting to freak me out.
[me] *laughs away* ... but really, is there any chance of me getting to know him?
[him] blablabla...

oh did i tell you

both of us were walking down lot 1 the other day when his friends saw us together. They taught we were a couple. Are they blinnnnd, can't they see we look like twinnns?! Shessshness, doesn't mean the lil dude is a head taller than me automatically makes him my bf can *ok, that thought itself is sick* . Anyway, looking at the bright side.. I look like a 16 year old! Whooopyyyyy... how wonderful can life be..

Alright enough already.. ~Daa!!

finally, i feel at ease

2006-03-18T00:22:00.000+08:00

Been feeling quite rotten for the past week. However, in just a short few hours.. i feel super dandy already. After a month of MIA from religious class, it's a relief to be finally back embracing fresh knowledge. I truely believe in the berkat of being in the company of pious religious teachers. I myself have encountered alot of experiences from it. They just seem to give you this new surge of motivation to continue striving hard.

Everytime I look at ustaz, I feel myself smiling and feeling calm and happy. To see a man of that age embracing life with such acceptance and contentment. How he sacrificed his life in all aspects for Allah alone, is very humbling. It's like you just feel the love for him, know what I mean? When reflecting on my ownself, it's unescapable but to feel a sense of great shame at how I'm leading my life. That despite the strength, health, opportunities, time and brain that He has given me.. I didn't fully utilise all this blessings to give my 100% for Allah alone. This world itself is a huge distraction.

Looking back at my past, I believe that there is no lost in sacrificing one's youth for the religion. Indeed, here and there.. friendship might start deteriorating for some. But whoever that remains in one's life are the true gems. A dear friend once gave me this advice which keeps me going til now, "When you do something, don't do it for the sake of human relation. In time to come, you'll get tired of it. In everything you do, do it for the sake of Allah. You'll find pleasure and thirst in wanting to do more. Trust Allah in all your dealings for He is Oft Knowing and seek comfort in His Protection." When one remembers Allah in good and bad times, there will always be a support system.

Well, life continues amidst all these surfacing challenges right? I feel that's what makes life worth living, having to fight for it irregardless of the circumstance. Let's not waste this life filled with rage and anger alright peeps? We live once, gotta make full use of the slipping time.

Love you all :) Have a good nyte... take care!

HAPPY BIRFDAY LIS <3 muacks

2006-03-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

- TO THE BIRFDAY GIRL -

Halluu wooman.. Just wanna wish a sweet 22nd birthday to you darling. Love ya to bits tau! Semoga dipanjangkan umur dan diberkatiNya selalu, and may all your supplications be granted by the Almighty One alwayss baby! :)

Watching Super Nanny at the moment, and here's what i have to say.. Awesomeness can? Quite a few practical management tips there. To live with those kinda children can drive any parents off the edge. And being a single parent is mymy, way challenging for that kind of crisis. Them kids have beautiful eyes tho.. Quite adorable when not in their naughty self. ~Kids, they can make you cry either ways. ( and i still want twins, mind you *lol*)

..BTW

The heart's trembling cuz this girl here has been procrastinating like madness.. ~Eeyiikes! None done yet, taking the risk of finishing them all off in 2 days. Hopefully hehe. And cuz of that.. i had to turn down an invitation to a trip to Escape Themepark *free tickets, mind you!!*

Anyway NIE ladies.. does the name Totochan ring a bell?? (Well, if it doesn't.. it's one of our readings for ECE202 girls).. found the book at kinokuniya the other day. The cover looks friggin familiar to begin with. And i got that book!! That's like 3 books in a month.. my goodness. Luckily the other two was on a 20% discount. Anyway, it's a light read. Something you'd like over a bag of chips.. eeeyeap, whatever that means *lol*

aaanyway.. time to get down to some serious business now. till later.. take care you all :)

p/s: I really don't mind Ashton Kutcher or any other guy singing to me like that. waaay cute can? Hahaha.. Tho i don't really quite like the movie. Still, Ashton.. you're the man~

walking away

2006-03-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

ebase is having it's sale and those dresses are just too cute. you should get them darl!!

so, as awin and coconut had already mentioned *refer to tag*
we went on a dinner date @ causeway's seoul garden
.. uber filling indeed
though it's not exactly my favourite place to dine..
the company of those ladies made up for the lack of it
and since it's the request of the newly-turned 23 yr old hen,
~your wish is my command, dearest missy coconut :)

the short chat at awin's carpark was really hilarious tho
that could keep me smiling for quite a while now

let me side track here
don't ever order tom yam at lot 1's food culture
merepek okay.. for 5 bucks it's definitely not worth the amount
the one at raffle's banquet is much2 more heavenly
REALLY, neever bluff :)

bought 'tuesdays with morrie'..
read from reviews its good, really hope so
i just hate wasting bucks on bad storylines

for the record
i've yet to start on any of my lesson plannings
*pulls hair*
i'm in holiday mood, y'all ..erps
alright, gonna start on it tmrw night *raises eyebrow*
i don't quite believe myself there *lol*
.
.
.
.
.
well
for now, i wish i have the third eye *hrmm..*
you know what i mean.. awin and coconut?

i don't quite enjoy the funk im in most nights
wish you well always
.
.
.
.
snap out of it twit

every little thing

2006-03-13T17:05:00.000+08:00

mundane, that's how life is right now
least it's much better w/o its usual complications
nothing much to blog currently (like i said, mundane)
but this boredom is killing the braincells

how contradicting when just a few days ago,
i'm so looking forward to the holidays

sometimes.. i just wish.., hmm never mind about that
what's the use of wishing and what-ifs

supposed to be heading out for tomyam with maz
but the weather's all humid
woman.. scrap your 'DIA' lor..
the air's much more welcoming and peaceful at night..
alright 2.. some other time perhaps..

realised that i'm not much of a television person
whats with having cable at home
perhaps, maaybe in the morning.. i'll be tuning in to travel and living,
documentaries.. some of Jamie Oliver *i want HIM!!.. he's mine!!*

other than that
television bore the crap out of me
which is totally the opposite of bestie
who lives for television, that coconut

oh.. and i've lost my Michael Buble's mp3.. "Home"
help, any kind souls?

.
.
.
.

okay, back to deviant art.
oh, can't wait do up the template!!

yes, shut up all of you
the design geek in me is still alive and kicking

much love y'all
take care *hugs*

...

2006-03-12T13:14:00.000+08:00

as kak noni smsed
your abang would have been 26 today
.
.
.
.

yup, i thought so too
hmm

got to let it go

2006-03-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

Yaiyness...~!! The art project is over and done with..
hehe, thanks you both for the helping hand.
Anyway.. let me just sum up the whole week eyeap?

...Some things that cheered up the days

Awin staying over last night.. brought lotsa laughs and some real serious talk
been quite some time since i've last talked that long with a girlfriend.. hours long
last i remember, secondary sch i suppose.. when all of us are still that tight.

Talked to the good guy friend 2 days ago.. for a good 3 hours
( well, never mind the phone bill..)
I miss that dude really. Been long since we've met up and just catch up
well, come late march.. he'll be back here in s'pore ~whoopy!!
It's real nice to have a guy friend whom you can just blabber anything to
or basically.. just seek advice. owe him lots.

the 1 week march holidays.. oh yummy :)
time to catch up on the readings.
bought James Frey's "A Million Little Pieces"..
okay oprah, don't let me down on this one.
and mar's "the devil wears prada".
blissful i say, curling up in bed with great reads

oh, and how can i forget.. rollerblading @ east coast with the practicum ladies
all nine of us, can't wait really.

Gonna ask the mom out for some ikea shopping
bet she's lonely at home when neither of us are around
kinda worried bout her.. think she's been thinking too much

..

well, so what happened today?
Had a night out with ley and elly. (and no, they aren't twins)
the ley bought her ilove finally. she'll get me my XDA O2 with her next pay
i just know she will :) (Saaayang leyana hehe)

and i think i'm a hazard to the road users at town today
my bottle of water fell out of the bag
and it was badly mutilated once the light turns green
yes, i'm guilty as charged.. felt real awful cann, ackkkk

.
.
.

Realised that once I'm alone, i have lots to think about
past, present, future
it can get real depressing sometimes
got to keep it real girl.. i said to myself
live for the present, prepare for the future

don't know why..
but i just find it hard to let go of some pasts
it just keeps haunting me

hmm.. alright. i wanna design a new template.
least it keeps some things off my mind.

love you all :)

d r e a m

2006-03-10T07:25:00.000+08:00

the late brother was lying in bed
was trying to communicate with him
end up crying badly

pain felt so raw

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emotionally drained
mind's blank
numb

another sleepless night today
one last project down tomorrow

monday come quick
i need a breather
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one last thing
bryan adams should make more classic hits
i miss his tunes

ain't too late for nothing

2006-03-09T21:23:00.000+08:00

this girl here is itching to get an O2 XDA Mini Pro
but she's quite apprehensive to take that step
hence, she needs some suggestions from her wonderful friends

read the reviews.. comments are satisfactory
but the processor's speed is only 195MHz tho

so ladies and gentlemen
how now, how now
or is there a better pocketpc than O2 XDA Mini Pro?

oh, btw.. O2 XDA Atom is on the mind too
drats
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am feeling for some real spicy tom yam seafood noodles
big time

home alone

2006-03-07T23:36:00.000+08:00

come friday, yeap
all through sunday me thinks
seeeram okay!!
first time
a cousin getting married at KL
and i can't make it
as i have classes on sat and sun morning

for those who've been to my house
you'll know why
altho i've been living here for the past 6 years
the environment at night still freaks me out

super creepy
especially the shelter beside the road
i have quite a wild imagination to begin with, mind you

quite a few times i've seen foreign workers straying
and it's frigging scarryyyy can
the red-eyed bangla who followed us *maz and i*
during one of those fun fair
..wanna know why? ask maz's itchy fingers.
-laughs out loud-

but anyway
least it's abit better now
with the police dog unit and army camps
i feel alot safer with them booking in at night
phewiee

initially i thought of asking one of you girls
to accompany me lor
but seeing that i'll be out of my house..
about 9am on sat morning,
might as well i hv that home alone experience

really ok, freaky no doubt
imagine having to hear creaking doors and soft footsteps during the wee hours
aaargh, scady scady!!

i shall be brave come friday
well, it's only 2 - 3 nights right?
what terrible things can happen anyyyyyway.
hmm
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dang

2006-03-06T21:23:00.000+08:00

The Johari Window {wyteLily}
~yes ley, so i succumbed to this.

So how's the day you might ask?
Quite a toughie i say..
An ADHD kid in my math class is really draining me out
don't quite like to scream at them kids
but i can't teach when there's a slightest bit of noise
and so i screamed
and boy.. did i scream
ok kids, i'm sorry for being nasty today
but you guys really pushed the red button

however, english class was fun
they were in hysterics seeing their parody poems being flashed in the power point
End up, they repeatedly sang a ridiculous poem on their way down to PE
what joy!!

Anyway, my girls.. LET'S WATCH GUBRA!!! How bout it?
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And yes, for my upcoming birthday..

- I WANT HIM -

<3
So my wonderful friends, you have exactly 5 months to
plan for my dream to come true.
Oh hurry2, start now already :)
It's not like I'm asking for a million dollars..
Just Chad Murray for my 23rd birthday.

Oh my goodness, 23RD birthday. I'm old lah cannn!!
I want to remain sweet 17 forever can....
Like mirza said, my zaman2 spagetti strap and cardigan.
Sungguh biadap.
What, i wear cardigan what... where got offensive one.
Anyway.. Here's to a wonderful tuesday!!

. to you .

2006-03-06T00:16:00.000+08:00

it's hard to come to a decision when one meets with a crossroad
but my dear friend, i say.. chase your dreams
purify your intention
when you have faith, destiny will play its part
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all the best you
you'll always be in my prayer :)

c o c o n u t

2006-03-05T00:39:00.000+08:00

Coconut head me part 1: 2 weeks back, I got a 3-day mc from the doc. Just this morning, when I was about to make my way back NIE to submit.. I realised that I have accidentally threw it away together with a bunch of old receipts. So there2, I had to pay the doc a visit for another copy. Guess what?! The doc insisted on prescribing some medication for my flue and sore throat. 30 bucks down the drain for a copy of that mc. ~oh well, least the doc is cute!! *lol*

Coconut head me part 2: Amidst my busy schedule, I forgot to return the school's library books.. lo and behold! paid a total of 14 bucks for them overdue fines. ~sheeshness.. not a good month for the pocket.

Coconut head me part 3: Left my EZlink and cashcard at home. Didn't have hard cash with me and there ain't any OCBC outlet @ yew tee. Imagine having to slot in 10cents and 20cents coins amounting to 2bucks plus, with a handful of books, laptop and a big, overflowing bag. After which, having to spend another 7 bucks on a new cashcard cuz I need to print my resources for the research essay...

Coconut head me part 4: Was running late for a meeting and there ain't no sight of cab around. The queue at the cab stand is freaking long, and the weather is not helping in calming me down. So there.

Coconut heads part 1: People in general, lost in their own world.. eating ice cream and holding hands,while sauntering in a busy and crowded shopping mall. Have they no sense that they are holding people up at the back?

Coconut heads part 2: It's just basic courtesy to queue up for your turn. Was queuing at the control station for a change of note when a lady just plopped herself in front of the counter and tapped her card on the deskscan. Have you no eyes lady that there are people queueing?!!

All in all, it has been a really trying day for me. Patience is key, they say. But sometimes, it helps to just scream your fustrations out. And no, i didn't scream. Just seethed in anger.

But the trusty Reader's Digest is there to save me from myself..

... extracted from Reader's Digest, March 2006 Issue.

On the road one morning, our van did an unplanned 180-degree turn at the slight bend in the road. I fought to keep the vehicle on the road, and when it stopped, sat for a moment to collect myself.

An unconcerned voice from the back seat piped up, "Did you forget something, Mum?"

- Gail Lafond

Cute :)

>> SMS Received (James): Hi all. Deadline for art assignment has been delayed till 10 march friday. Breathe easier...

>> SMS Sent (Me): ~Yaaaaaaaaiiyy!!!!! I love James :)

.. and suddenly, life ain't so bad after all :P

Nitenite folks!

...s w e e t?

2006-03-02T22:00:00.000+08:00

why so? well cuz,

For one: Hitler (the supervisor) is coming by for my first observation tmrw, and i'm scared shit. (cuz it's only my second lesson with them.. ~bah!)

For two: My art class changed, and i'm gonna teach my cousin for the next few weeks. (not liking it btw... anticipating the chinese whispers)

For three: I have my ECA202 module project to be handed up on the 7th, where it's not been attended to at all. To top it all off.. it consists of 5 detailed lesson plans (with visual assistance) and a 4 page essay. Like the 11 sets of LPs is not already enough.

So people, if you do see me online in msn at night.. do give me a holler. You might just save me from drooling on the keyboard. a light entertainment is very much welcomed!!

But hey, my primary 1 class made my day! oh yes they did. they drew all sorts of cute cartoons in the worksheet i gave them during relief. So am gonna use that as a source for my essay write-up (children & creativity. nurtured or natural?).

..help!!

. the once a year event .

2006-03-02T00:06:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY BESTIE!!!
*muacks* *muacks*
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adore my voice right?
don't you worry, lady
i'll sing you a real one.. live tomorrow
it's a date hor!!
bubble me, and i'll smack your bhind

love ya lady!! <3>

(sorry korang, jgn marah. i'm the first to wish *lol*)

about this and that

2006-02-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

... suddenly thought of the good fren who's out there somewhere in thailand. He owes me lunch when he gets back here. I miss his crap and lameness. *dude, get back here fast! I need some entertainment.. and 10 cents per minute calls are not cheap to thealready insufficient salary you know*

oh did i tell you. i have an asalboleh malay teacher sitting behind me in school. just yesterday, he told me to quit teaching and get married to the son of sultan brunei. *i dont even know the sultan has a son!.. wait, come to think of it, i thought he's married already?!*

him: dari tadi saya tgk awak sibukk aje...
me: ah ah cikgu byk kerjaa....
him: ah kan, suruh kawin dgn anak sultan brunei tak nakkk. *walks away*

i don't know whether to laugh or give him the face. funny man he is.

me: cikgu nak apa2 tak, saya nak pegi canteen sekejap..
him: ah boleh jugak.. belikan saya kfc dengan tiger beer..
me: ... oooooooooooookay

he never cease to amaze me.

other than that...

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no complains. life's good..
tho i'm still thinking about them rollerblades.
yew tee park is huge. teheehee.

//self note: make ur way to NIE tmrw. return library books n submit ur long overdued mc. *moans*

about the earwax

2006-02-27T21:59:00.000+08:00

if any of you are wondering who sang the song at the background
well, its ronin - one more moment
thank andi for that
i'm so feeling the song right now
(to the andi surya) may the panty spirit be with you!!
-laugh out loud-
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ratna biadap, saya tau :)

nobody knows it but me

2006-02-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

Am supposed to be doing all those lesson plans and weekly reflections, but here I am procrastinating. Was down with the famous combination of fever, flue and sore throat during the week end. Perhaps due to exhaustion me thinks. Hope to be fully recovered by tomorrow.

Had the sudden urge to rollerblade the whole day at east coast by myself. Been long since I did something impulsive as that. How I miss roller blading. Thought of getting a pair of blades with my next pay. The old ones have cracks all over and stink real bad *eeeps*. For a moment there, i'm actually doing a mental scan of my wardrobe for an appropriate attire to blade. craziness.

There's so many things I wanna do.

1. a short getaway to the beach. Serenity in nature works wonders i feel.
2. a long bus ride *the bus MUST be air conditioned ok*, smoke make me nauseous.
3. taking endless rides on the ferries wheel.
4. sitting on a swing.
5. curling in bed the whole day with the soothing scent of aromatheraphy.
6. have good dreams that make me smile in my sleep.

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well.. in short, i need a time out from my busy schedule to sort things out.

Not Again

2006-02-25T08:58:00.000+08:00

It's one of those days when you thought are super late and was just about to rush out of the house when your mum called out.. " Why are you in such a rush? It's only 8.20!!" and theeen, you start feeling real silly but relieved nonetheless.

Yup, my class starts at 10am today and this lady here thought it was already 9.20am. Almost impossible to walk to the mert and reach yishun in 40 minutes yah. So arfah, when you read this, you'll know why i'm quite the early bird today *lol*.

So umm. Looking forward to finishing this week's and half of next week's lesson plans (with all the plus plus admin works). For those not in the know, I only have 2 periods of lessons next week. CA week, the reason being *jgn jeaaaalous khekhe :)*.

Anyway my girls, dinner on monday.. how bout that? Meet u ladies around 8, will do? Destination.. confirm via sms, yup?

To my NIE ladies, how's prac so far? Managable? Hope to see you girls soon for a quick bite (dinner phaps??). Msn hor ladies.

Gotta run now, before I really am late. Have a good weekend y'all.. *muacks*

Randomness

2006-02-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

Was reflecting bout this and that.. thinking things through,

when I was hit by the depth and true meaning of " The unimaginable love of Allah towards His creations. " and when one passes on, we should be glad that the deceased has finally returned to his Creator.

Death should not be a taboo, but something to look forward to.

.. When reality bites

2006-02-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

Thought I was strong enough to look at his photograph. Apparently not.
And babyface is not helping much either.

Back to the observation list now.

Mid Week Ramblings

2006-02-22T09:17:00.000+08:00

Finally I've managed to clear all the craploads of stuff lying around. Observation week has been great.. Alot of new teaching ideas.. *yummy*

Yday, got to pack this semester's notes in a neat pile.. leaving it aside for awhile... who noes *touch Ley's head heh..* if I didn't manage to clear any of my modules.. Scaaddy scaddy!!

Anyhow..

Just somethings at the tip of my mind..
Was lying down in bed last night thinking of my future plans...
Well,hmm.. am thinking, I'd want to be part of the school's pastoral care unit..
So in order to do that, I need some qualification in psychology, no? *as usual, the smart alec in me comes in..* so, this is the tentative plans in the coming years..

- 1 year of full time teaching & take driving license <-- very much delayed haha.. received my second letter of account update just a week ago *lol* Nur Jihan!! Mcm mana ni.. Dipersilakan ok, ~Sama-sama maju kehadapan.. *if u can still recall the song we alllways sing in primary sch* .. In which i think my dad would have second thoughts in me driving his precious car. I think i'll be one of those women drivers whom u'd love to crash into *lol*.
- Next: Full time teaching & Part time degree in Psychology (SIM)

Insyallah, hopefully.

Anyway, time to sharpen my claws.. Be meeting those bunch of monkeys in 2 hr-ish.

Btw, if things are all settled by friday.. do meet me for dinner dates come next week okay peeps? Pls eh, dinner spots only limited to Lot1, Westmall, JP and Causeway Point. Tapi kalau driving *coughs at maz*, apa salah nya jauh2 sikit kan? heh heh.West Coast for ikan pari bakar alsssoo can, sataayy alsoo can, sup kambs also cann. Goodness, I'm hungry.. Hope there's good food at the canteen today..

*yesterday during p4 recess*

Boy 1: Miss Ratna, can help me return my library books? I very tired.. just now go up and down already...

Boy 2: MIss Ratna.. don't! He like baby like that...

Me: (Name of boy), do I look like a slave to you?

Boy 1: Yes Miss Ratna.. you're my slave!

Me: *bites his head off*

So there you go, my bunch of monkies for this semester!

2006-02-19T19:47:00.000+08:00

Hm. How time flies, really.

Being out of shape really takes the toll out of the card. Just last week, I spent over $200 on children's books. Crazyness, ain't it? But yup, am comforting myself with chants of "Resources for future use Nur.. for future use." Hah.. and if you think it stops there... No~! Spent another $30 at daiso buying puppets and stuffs. $2 for a puppet, what a bargain *yes ppl, its pronounced as baagen.. with a silent r*. I learnt my ETE202 well. :)

.. and i'ms till thinking of a return visit to Borders for more twisted fairy tales

Anyway.. thanks you alls for the well wishes. Heartness.. heartness! Am coping quite okay, don't you worry bout me. Time heals all wound, they say. I believe so too. He would want me to be strong. And I will be, Insyallah.. soon enough.

Hadn't had the time to really clear my room. There's no need for that actually. Be taking his slightly before the end of may. And how I very very wish to change this layout.. Time.. I need time. Gimme one week of nothingness, and I'd gladly utilise it to get my life *and room* back in order.

Okay so before ending this entry.. I'd like to share a poem from a book entitled "A Bad Case of Giggles" by Bruce Lansky.

Toes in My Nose

I bet that I could do it.
My friends all said, "No Way."
And now my toes are in my nose,
so they will have to pay.

They each owe me a dollar.
Of that there is no doubt.
There's just one little problem.
I cannot get them out!

Super cute can! Can just imagine Fidza doing that.. the silly girl *lol*

Okay.. til the next entry *hugs*

2006-02-14T23:36:00.000+08:00

With You in Heart&Soul

The Childhood Memories are definitely priceless. The times where…

o We would pretend to be the Mat Yoyo cats with talcum powder painted on our faces, creating one heck of a fabulous show.
o You would bring me around patiently and play with your guy friends when I was still an irritating, pesky small sister. Never once I heard you grumble when I insisted on following you everywhere. Red Indian, Hide-and-seek around the block..
o We would tie plastic bags to our feet, spread talcum powder on the living room floor and slide around to our hearts content; oblivious to mum's nagging.
o Mum and I would wait for you to finish your sat's art lessons; with me peering between the window panes, enviously looking at your beautiful drawings.
o Tightly snuggling beside you after every nightmare and I would instantly feel okay.
o Getting you to run away from home with me after I got scolded by mum. (but of cuz you didn't want to.. lol)
o Getting ready for ngaji and attending class together.
o Wearing matching outfits with similar care bears.
o Waiting for your soccer tournament results.
o You tricking me into breaking my fast when we both made a pact to do it together.

I've always been proud of you. That's my brother!~, I always said.

The day when the news came, I felt my world crashing bad. I've never felt purely happy since the day I see you enduring in silence. I shall not say suffer or pain. It's his test, and only the chosen ones will get to face it. Somehow I can sense your days are numbered. I was in total denial.

You were always positive. I don't know where you get all that courage from.

Since he fell sick, it has always been a routine for me to first check on him whenever I reached home. These days, I reach home from school half expecting to see him sleeping in bed, only to be greeted by an empty room.

During my late night outings, I'll be welcomed home by the sight of him lying down on the sofa in the dark watching soccer matches, with Liverpool being his all-time favourite team. .. hmm, empty living room now.

I can still remember just a few nights before, he was stroking my head while I was asleep beside him. I'm a light sleeper, mind you. It felt really comforting honestly. I wanted it to last forever, him doing just that.

You went way too early abang aim.. I haven't had enough of you.
But Allah loves you more. I'm glad for that.
You've always been special from the start.
Intelligent, kind soul, big heart, outstanding personality, a good son.

The Good Memories... I Thank YOU for them. You'd been my pillar of strength. Always been, and always will be. You're irreplaceable and will forever remain my favourite brother always.

.. I really miss being your lil sister, knowing that you will always be there for me.

I want to dream of you tonight. I really do.

There's a huge missing piece in my heart. It hurts like mad.

Some nights, I can't believe you're not with us anymore. I long for one last private conversation with you... pouring all my heart's content, crying on your shoulder again, giving you one final goodbye hug. I want a proper closure between us.

However, I'm glad that you're now back with Allah at a much better place. You’ve fought through your remaining life, you deserve eternal rest now.

"Nur, when I'm in pain, what keeps me going is that I'd rather it be me than you, mak, abah or asykal."

I'll keep your strength, perseverance and courage in heart at all times. I miss you a lot.

I love you with all of my heart. Wait for me there, til my time comes to return. You’re in my constant prayers abang, I will fail you not.

Til then, you'll always be in my heart and soul.

Al-Fatihah,
Mohamed Ibrahim Bin Mohamed Rashid
12/03/1980 –to- 09/02/2006